Unfortunately, feelings don’t just go away if you ignore them.
You may get away with “feeling the fear and doing it anyway” for a little while, but eventually it will sneak up on you and you’ll end-up in tears in the middle of grocery store trying to select a bag of apples (true story).
It’s vital that you really listen to your feelings and give them the respect they deserve. This is what will allow you to move forward with the confidence and self-compassion that will lead to success.
Try using this HeartMath tool when you are facing an immediate difficult decision or situation. Start by recognizing what you’re feeling and give it a name. Is it fear, anger, anxiety, frustration, disappointment? Naming your feeling will help you to accept and understand what’s going on in your body.
Then, focus on your heart area and breath in love for about a minute. This is an act of self-compassion. If negative thoughts or feelings continue to arise, just refocus on your heart area. As you focus on your heart, you want to radiate this compassion to any issues you are experiencing (fear, inadequacy, insecurity, self-pity).
As you do so, you’ll notice those feelings subside. Sitting with your feelings and giving them space for understanding, gives them less power over your actions. When you give your feelings the attention they demand – but in a calm and self-compassionate way – they are less likely to pop up in destructive ways.
If you’re looking to do something new on a regular basis, like speaking up more in meetings, networking with other industry professionals, volunteering for more difficult assignments and projects, you need to form a new habit.
The trick to successfully establishing a new habit is to pick something small and associating it with another, already well-formed, habit. For example, if you want to voice your opinions and ideas in meetings more often, start with one safe-feeling meeting that happens at work. If you have a weekly, small team meeting, try speaking up here first – ask a question or suggest an idea.
Once this becomes a comfortable habit, try it other more senior meetings. If expanding your professional network is a goal, connect your regular social media activity or web-browsing habits with LinkedIn.
After checking your Facebook messages, pop over to LinkedIn to send a few new connection requests.Whatever new habit you’re trying to create, make sure it’s easy and achievable. You can always build on it later; the most important part is making sure you consistently perform the new action.
Perhaps the best way to embrace change, is to make it a regular part of your every day experience. Cultivate a life where change is normal and welcomed.
Here are my top 4 tips for embracing change in your day-to-day life.
1.Be Open to New Things. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable.
2.Be Playful. Don’t take yourself too seriously, it relieves the pressure.
3.Be Yourself. Living authentically can refresh your attitudes and remove limiting expectations.
4.Be Inspired and Motivated.
Don’t neglect the activities and people in your life that bring you joy.Feeling discomfort around change may never fully disappear, and that’s ok. Just don’t let change avoidance or fear of the unknown keep you stuck somewhere you don’t want to be. The discomfort of change will never be as great as the discomfort that comes from regret.
Are you like me? To you fear change or simply avoid it? Let me know in the comments how you’re going to tackle change this year. Or, if you have an inspiring story about change, I want to hear it!